Now it all makes sense......
During the week i scored about 50 text messages going back about 3 months, hence my last of communicado with absent friends....Milly- love to do the gig, Auntie B- football good, where were you thinking. Must apologise for general slackness in communication in general, life has taken over a little bit.
I have been interviewing potential applicants (that makes no grammatical sense!?) for my own job which is a little odd. I don't want anyone smarter than me or funnier than me or better looking than me (say Vanity....) for fear of destablising my position in the company pecking order. People put the weirdest stuff on their resumes and some people actually send their high school reports in. Maybe they took their teachers at their word that school reports are actually important. Buggered if I know where mine are.... It also brings out your prejudices in all the wrong ways. Oh you live at Salisbury, we'll call you......
Hasn't Big Brother this year been an emotional roller coaster and a publicists nightmare? Don't care? Me either. Am looking forward to Australian Idol this year. I love the way they include some "alternative" kids as cannon fodder for the first few weeks. They are soon sidelined for another backstreet boy or jessica simpson. Not Ashley Simpson, she's ok. Not too sure about the new nose though.
On celeb news great news that Bono has bought a Maserati, way to help those starving kids in Italy.....
Still on celeb news, what the fuck is "Skye Mangel" doing releasing a single?
Local celeb news now... The Creeps are having a rest and retooling. We have got rid on the rhythm section and running our own version of Creep Idol. We have a couple of shows to finish off in this incarnation then we start all the work again. Of course all your favourites like "Psycho Bitch" will be retained! Maybe we'll throw in some Yes covers or something...... Now i need to find something elso to do on Tuesday nights, will be a bit lost without band practice for a while. If anyone knows of a girl bass player send em over.
Have been asked (picked last just like school) to join the work netball team. Not sure if they know just how unfit I am, or the fact i don't own sneakers, or shorts, or any form of sporting inkling. Wonder how long this will last. At least the games are close to home.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
The 3 B's
In the motor trade which i am somehow unable to extricate myself from there is a general rule for dealing with clients. This rule is known as the 3 B's. I didn't build it, I didn't buy it. I didn't break it. Recently I have been noticing a disturbing trend where clients try to tell ME what to do. That's not quite how it works. Especially with warranty.
Follows is an explanation of what warranty means.
"warranty covers a manufacturing defect, whether in assembly or workmanship" Simple huh?
Well no. All manufacturers have exclusions, from cars to cheese, some may seem obvious to us but not to the vast mass of retarded consumers.
Warranty covers manufacturing defects.
Warranty does not cover damage arising from you crashing the car into something.
Warranty does not cover your kid chewing the door trim, tasty as it may be.
Warranty does not cover your stupidity and or your partners stupidity, it's never the husbands fault unless the wife is bringing the car in.
Warranty does not cover the fact that you never service the car and have no intention of ever servicing the car.
Warranty does not entitle you to a loan vehicle, in fact the more you tell me that it's inconvenient not to have a car the more likely I am to NOT give you a loan car. It's fun! And it's not really convenient for me to be listening to your sob story about how you have 3000 children, buy a fucking TV and a bus ticket, you are going to need both.
However,
Warranty does cover crash damage if you supply the correct bottle of wine or carton or imported beer.
Warranty does cover stupidity if you're cute and call me nice names like "doll" or "honey".
Warranty does cover a whole host of other miscellaneous defects if you are polite, courteous and respectful of the fact that I am not personally responsible for the appalling build quality of the vehicle you purchased at an inflated price. Even better if you understand that the inflated price is keeping the boss's kids at a good school and these things aren't cheap.
So the moral of the story is, and eveyones mum said the same thing, you catch more flies with honey. Be nice to the poor jerk at the retail counter. He is really wanting to nick out the back for a smoke and look at the clouds, not wanting to listen you the shit that people come up with to make them feel better about the fact their own lives are a disappointment.
In the motor trade which i am somehow unable to extricate myself from there is a general rule for dealing with clients. This rule is known as the 3 B's. I didn't build it, I didn't buy it. I didn't break it. Recently I have been noticing a disturbing trend where clients try to tell ME what to do. That's not quite how it works. Especially with warranty.
Follows is an explanation of what warranty means.
"warranty covers a manufacturing defect, whether in assembly or workmanship" Simple huh?
Well no. All manufacturers have exclusions, from cars to cheese, some may seem obvious to us but not to the vast mass of retarded consumers.
Warranty covers manufacturing defects.
Warranty does not cover damage arising from you crashing the car into something.
Warranty does not cover your kid chewing the door trim, tasty as it may be.
Warranty does not cover your stupidity and or your partners stupidity, it's never the husbands fault unless the wife is bringing the car in.
Warranty does not cover the fact that you never service the car and have no intention of ever servicing the car.
Warranty does not entitle you to a loan vehicle, in fact the more you tell me that it's inconvenient not to have a car the more likely I am to NOT give you a loan car. It's fun! And it's not really convenient for me to be listening to your sob story about how you have 3000 children, buy a fucking TV and a bus ticket, you are going to need both.
However,
Warranty does cover crash damage if you supply the correct bottle of wine or carton or imported beer.
Warranty does cover stupidity if you're cute and call me nice names like "doll" or "honey".
Warranty does cover a whole host of other miscellaneous defects if you are polite, courteous and respectful of the fact that I am not personally responsible for the appalling build quality of the vehicle you purchased at an inflated price. Even better if you understand that the inflated price is keeping the boss's kids at a good school and these things aren't cheap.
So the moral of the story is, and eveyones mum said the same thing, you catch more flies with honey. Be nice to the poor jerk at the retail counter. He is really wanting to nick out the back for a smoke and look at the clouds, not wanting to listen you the shit that people come up with to make them feel better about the fact their own lives are a disappointment.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
Back In Black
Listening to; Liz Phair, fuck off all of you who are rolling eyes. She's great, frank, tuneful and she plays a blonde Fender Mustang with tortiseshell pickguard
Feeling; Kinda full/ Kinda empty. Salad roll for lunch, some misguided health kick. Quiche for dinner, health kick temporarily suspended. oh and 2 stellas to take the edge off the day.
Career; Stationary.
Band; Rockin, we're fuckin huge in Thebarton, bigger than jesus some say.
So here we are, back on the web as part of a new years resolution. Was going to leave it for chinese new year but Exxon Mobil don't mark that occasion in my diary, gotta love corporate branding the whole year round. Wonder if they celebrate the grounding of the Valdez?
Quick update for those of you i haven't seen, alright that's all of you. Except Miss H who has to suffer this all the time.
We had a nice xmas in the car driving from relative to relative, uspide is we got to listen to lots of Hilary Duff (see below).
Much parental bonding, translated that means that my mum and Miss H's auntie got on the gas and had a grand ol time. Trying to convince the kids (us) to concieve so they can have little children to fuck up all over again, like it's something we can do over xmas lunch. I was tired dammit and the venue was at aunties house at the beach. We all know how much i despise sand. Then off to a location somewhere near the Australian antarctic territory, ok Noarlunga but it's close, you can see Scotts hut on a clear day. Much hilarity ensued, not for us but i guess someone enjoyed it. Got kickass presents from Miss H and family. Got a whole year of Daria ahead of me since i got the box set. I am rationing myself to 1 episode a day or i'd have to give up work just to watch Daria.
Anyhoo, that was then and this was before.
Went to 2 very different gigs in 1 week. I was Motley Crue. Vince Neil got fat and old quickly, Mick Mars looked like a fat Marylin Manson minus the burlesque wife, Nicky Sixx was cool, only cause Gibson gave him his own series of bass guitars. The real standout for me was Tommy Lee, always thought he couldn't play drums. Wrong. He kicks. Proper rockstar kit too with a bass drum the size of a cement mixer and more cymbols than prince. As a band they were awful but Kickstart My Heart is such a great anthem for guys of that certain age (my age). Brings back feelings of rebelliousness and sexual frustration. Like year ten again.
The other one was Hilary Duff. That was sooooooo fuckin cool. We were the oldest there without kids. The kids behind were complaining cause we were standing up, stuff them. I figured that there is a cut off time for me attending a Hilary Duff show. Any older and i'd be accused of being a dirty old man. Not that i like Hil (as I call her) in THAT way. She is cute, but like in a cute sister in law kind of way to me. The music also transports me to another place in time. A place of innocence and simplicity, like we all want our lives to be. As much as i like the grown up feeling of advanced conflict resolution and all the other grown up things i do at my job I'd kind of like to be back in Australian studies knowing that in half and hour i can go home and not worry about anything except will your parents let you go out on Friday night to go "clap dancing" (fuck you mermaidgrrrl, now that tag haunts me) at the proscenium. Of course i told them i was only going round to Seagreens house.
So if anyone wants a copy of a Hilary Duff Cd or movie let me know and i'll happily share the gift.
On the ranch there has been much improvement, the kitchen is almost complete. I took off overseas for the worst of it leaving Miss H to battle the retarded tradesmen all on her own. Seriously the guy was too dumb to work at a sheltered workshop. He was pretty good at leaving on time though. So after knocking out a wall and moving everything around it's almost finished, only another coulple of hours and we have an new kitchen.
In the backyard there is also much movement, of the dirty kind. We are in preparations for building the retaining walls so i can finally have a shed. I have it all planned, fridge, cd player so i can listen to Hil and Liz as loud as i like, comfy chair and a sink for homebrew beer production (maybe next years resolution?). But for now it's pick shovel and cement mixer for the next couple of months. People ask why i don't just pay someone to do these things, i ask have they ever known me to do anything the easy way, they shrug and walk off. Probably sniggering at the stubborn tightass with the bad back.
I think it fitting to close my return "journal" with some observations from 2005.
Hilary Duff is ok and it's ok for a late 20's man to enjoy the movies and music of a teen idol. Now it's off my chest i can admit to liking Ashlee Simpson and Avril Lavigne and Lindsay Lohan. To my credit, not that i care what you think, i do also listen to "real music". Have been flogging the New York Dolls lately (not a euphemism by the way)
Britney should divorce Kevin
Angelina and Brad (as Seagreen said) are going to struggle to top Apple as a baby name
Paris and Paris were never going to work
Nick and Jess is a shame (maybe he saw Dukes of Hazzard and was too ashamed)
I don't much like the look of the Misubishi 380 ( if that's their saviour Mitsi's are fucked in this country)
Shame about Hunter S Thompson (cool funeral though, ashes getting fired from a cannon)
Speaking of ashes, that was a disgrace
Best thing of the year was discovering that I have a "style", Miss H said so and she has style, but more on that later don't want to spoil it.
TTFN, hate to see you go but love to watch you leave.
Listening to; Liz Phair, fuck off all of you who are rolling eyes. She's great, frank, tuneful and she plays a blonde Fender Mustang with tortiseshell pickguard
Feeling; Kinda full/ Kinda empty. Salad roll for lunch, some misguided health kick. Quiche for dinner, health kick temporarily suspended. oh and 2 stellas to take the edge off the day.
Career; Stationary.
Band; Rockin, we're fuckin huge in Thebarton, bigger than jesus some say.
So here we are, back on the web as part of a new years resolution. Was going to leave it for chinese new year but Exxon Mobil don't mark that occasion in my diary, gotta love corporate branding the whole year round. Wonder if they celebrate the grounding of the Valdez?
Quick update for those of you i haven't seen, alright that's all of you. Except Miss H who has to suffer this all the time.
We had a nice xmas in the car driving from relative to relative, uspide is we got to listen to lots of Hilary Duff (see below).
Much parental bonding, translated that means that my mum and Miss H's auntie got on the gas and had a grand ol time. Trying to convince the kids (us) to concieve so they can have little children to fuck up all over again, like it's something we can do over xmas lunch. I was tired dammit and the venue was at aunties house at the beach. We all know how much i despise sand. Then off to a location somewhere near the Australian antarctic territory, ok Noarlunga but it's close, you can see Scotts hut on a clear day. Much hilarity ensued, not for us but i guess someone enjoyed it. Got kickass presents from Miss H and family. Got a whole year of Daria ahead of me since i got the box set. I am rationing myself to 1 episode a day or i'd have to give up work just to watch Daria.
Anyhoo, that was then and this was before.
Went to 2 very different gigs in 1 week. I was Motley Crue. Vince Neil got fat and old quickly, Mick Mars looked like a fat Marylin Manson minus the burlesque wife, Nicky Sixx was cool, only cause Gibson gave him his own series of bass guitars. The real standout for me was Tommy Lee, always thought he couldn't play drums. Wrong. He kicks. Proper rockstar kit too with a bass drum the size of a cement mixer and more cymbols than prince. As a band they were awful but Kickstart My Heart is such a great anthem for guys of that certain age (my age). Brings back feelings of rebelliousness and sexual frustration. Like year ten again.
The other one was Hilary Duff. That was sooooooo fuckin cool. We were the oldest there without kids. The kids behind were complaining cause we were standing up, stuff them. I figured that there is a cut off time for me attending a Hilary Duff show. Any older and i'd be accused of being a dirty old man. Not that i like Hil (as I call her) in THAT way. She is cute, but like in a cute sister in law kind of way to me. The music also transports me to another place in time. A place of innocence and simplicity, like we all want our lives to be. As much as i like the grown up feeling of advanced conflict resolution and all the other grown up things i do at my job I'd kind of like to be back in Australian studies knowing that in half and hour i can go home and not worry about anything except will your parents let you go out on Friday night to go "clap dancing" (fuck you mermaidgrrrl, now that tag haunts me) at the proscenium. Of course i told them i was only going round to Seagreens house.
So if anyone wants a copy of a Hilary Duff Cd or movie let me know and i'll happily share the gift.
On the ranch there has been much improvement, the kitchen is almost complete. I took off overseas for the worst of it leaving Miss H to battle the retarded tradesmen all on her own. Seriously the guy was too dumb to work at a sheltered workshop. He was pretty good at leaving on time though. So after knocking out a wall and moving everything around it's almost finished, only another coulple of hours and we have an new kitchen.
In the backyard there is also much movement, of the dirty kind. We are in preparations for building the retaining walls so i can finally have a shed. I have it all planned, fridge, cd player so i can listen to Hil and Liz as loud as i like, comfy chair and a sink for homebrew beer production (maybe next years resolution?). But for now it's pick shovel and cement mixer for the next couple of months. People ask why i don't just pay someone to do these things, i ask have they ever known me to do anything the easy way, they shrug and walk off. Probably sniggering at the stubborn tightass with the bad back.
I think it fitting to close my return "journal" with some observations from 2005.
Hilary Duff is ok and it's ok for a late 20's man to enjoy the movies and music of a teen idol. Now it's off my chest i can admit to liking Ashlee Simpson and Avril Lavigne and Lindsay Lohan. To my credit, not that i care what you think, i do also listen to "real music". Have been flogging the New York Dolls lately (not a euphemism by the way)
Britney should divorce Kevin
Angelina and Brad (as Seagreen said) are going to struggle to top Apple as a baby name
Paris and Paris were never going to work
Nick and Jess is a shame (maybe he saw Dukes of Hazzard and was too ashamed)
I don't much like the look of the Misubishi 380 ( if that's their saviour Mitsi's are fucked in this country)
Shame about Hunter S Thompson (cool funeral though, ashes getting fired from a cannon)
Speaking of ashes, that was a disgrace
Best thing of the year was discovering that I have a "style", Miss H said so and she has style, but more on that later don't want to spoil it.
TTFN, hate to see you go but love to watch you leave.
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