Guitarboy

The 3 B's

In the motor trade which i am somehow unable to extricate myself from there is a general rule for dealing with clients. This rule is known as the 3 B's. I didn't build it, I didn't buy it. I didn't break it. Recently I have been noticing a disturbing trend where clients try to tell ME what to do. That's not quite how it works. Especially with warranty.
Follows is an explanation of what warranty means.

"warranty covers a manufacturing defect, whether in assembly or workmanship" Simple huh?

Well no. All manufacturers have exclusions, from cars to cheese, some may seem obvious to us but not to the vast mass of retarded consumers.

Warranty covers manufacturing defects.

Warranty does not cover damage arising from you crashing the car into something.
Warranty does not cover your kid chewing the door trim, tasty as it may be.
Warranty does not cover your stupidity and or your partners stupidity, it's never the husbands fault unless the wife is bringing the car in.
Warranty does not cover the fact that you never service the car and have no intention of ever servicing the car.
Warranty does not entitle you to a loan vehicle, in fact the more you tell me that it's inconvenient not to have a car the more likely I am to NOT give you a loan car. It's fun! And it's not really convenient for me to be listening to your sob story about how you have 3000 children, buy a fucking TV and a bus ticket, you are going to need both.

However,

Warranty does cover crash damage if you supply the correct bottle of wine or carton or imported beer.
Warranty does cover stupidity if you're cute and call me nice names like "doll" or "honey".
Warranty does cover a whole host of other miscellaneous defects if you are polite, courteous and respectful of the fact that I am not personally responsible for the appalling build quality of the vehicle you purchased at an inflated price. Even better if you understand that the inflated price is keeping the boss's kids at a good school and these things aren't cheap.

So the moral of the story is, and eveyones mum said the same thing, you catch more flies with honey. Be nice to the poor jerk at the retail counter. He is really wanting to nick out the back for a smoke and look at the clouds, not wanting to listen you the shit that people come up with to make them feel better about the fact their own lives are a disappointment.